Final posting

On December 30th at 9 am the funeral for Aleisha was held. It was one of the most beautiful funerals I had ever witnessed. Buddy made sure that everything she had wanted for her funeral was complete. The beautiful white casket with light pink lining and the bronze handles were gorgeous. The flowers ontop were the red roses she loved. Photos and a video were stories of her life, traveling with Buddy and the births of their 2 sons. She looked beautiful and peaceful and finally at rest. Even though everything was as perfect as one could make it, it just did not seem right that this young, beautiful, love for life woman had passed. It did not feel real. So many wonderful friends (thank you to everyone) visited and offered condolences. The mass at St. Mary's was heartwarming. It was exactly what Aleisha would have wanted. The priest gave a wonderful sermon and although during the mass you hear what is being said, it did not feel real. The cold wind at the cemetery was ruthless. As the priest gave the blessing you just continued to go through the motions. You knew this was it, but why do you feel so empty and lost. Buddy finished the day and held his head high. You could see the sharp pain in his eyes and knew that his body was processing what needed to be done, but his heart was broken. Afterward the group gathered at the church rec room for lunch. It was great to have the support and Buddy brought the boys to see everyone. It was amazing that our entire family was together,after so many years of being apart it took the illness and death of our baby sister, Buddy's wife,to bring us together? Aleisha had done so much in her life she had never known. She was not only a mom, sister, daughter, aunt and friend, but a healer to others, the one that would reconnect the lost family...we will always love her and never forget her. Her battle was long and hard. She did not want to go, but as we all know that is not our choice. She was chosen and as we see her loss and grieve, we must remember that we will see her again. But for now, we must really try to remember how she would want us to live and to treat others and teach her sons. We must remember to be there for Buddy and we need to always be there as family. That is what Aleisha would have wanted and that is what she would have done if it were us. God Bless her....she is in our hearts and memories forever...

the war is finally over....onward to peace...

About an hour ago a brave and beautiful woman who had fought for over 5 years to beat the beast of Malignant Melanoma finally found her peace. With her husband and family at her side she took her last breath. The long hard fought battle was over and she will now find eternal life and peace with the Lord. She will be united with many lost family members, one of whom is her dad that she lost at age 16. She will truly be missed by so many and the memories we will hold in our hearts forever..

I cannot get that last visit at the James out of my head..it was so late when she finally got out of the doctor's office. The hospital halls were almost empty. We took that long walk together to the door where Buddy would meet us with the car. We interlocked our arms to walk together and she asked me if I would be there for her...at her nursing home when she got old to help her walk...My response was yes and I told her we could laugh together as we would help each other or chase each other with our walkers. We laughed together that night. But I knew in the back of my mind that the visit then was questioning the cancer...the thought at that visit was, had it spread to the spinal fluid.....later to find out it had.

It was a little over a month ago that she attended her son Will's 4th birthday. She was edematous from the steroids, but able to walk with minimal assist. Then on our last family Christmas gathering at mom's....December 11th we were all informed by her that the cancer had truly spread. She broke as she told us...knowing her we all responded with nothing but positive reinforcement...we all believed that she would fight until her last breath and that she did.....sometimes I was tough on her, but
with the diagnosis I could not allow her to get weak. I am sure as great as Buddy is he had many emotional moments with her. I know my mom and sister did. But I could not break....it is always never to allow yourself to be weakended by this beast.

There have been so many that have been so wonderful....meals have been brought to their home, coworkers of Buddy's donated time for him to be with her, babysitters, friends, Buddy's family. fireman, neighbors, even people that don't know them.....I am so glad they were their for them...that is a Godsend. On our side, I am glad I was with her during her surgeries, getting her into doctors, office visits, thanking my husband and daughters for their support, My sister Tammy and her family who is now a great addition back to the family and my brother and sister in law who was there every single day and most nights....They have
been there and been strong. My mom has struggled with this, losing a daughter has to be so very very hard....her prayers have been constant and I know when she was with Aleisha it made her feel safe and blessed.....

We now pray for her everlasting peace...I pray Buddy finds strength and her children grow up to know their mom through all the stories we share with them. They are so small now and have no idea of what their wonderful mom has suffered and I sometimes think that is a blessing --in a way......

For now....PLEASE ......pray for others who suffer from this horrific disease and if you have been diagnosed....let Aleisha set an example as a trooper....come back to this blog and read....you cannot allow the beast to win....because if you even allow it to make you weak it will overcome you...even if it takes you physiologically...never allow it to take your spirit....God Bless and Thank you all..